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HOME>詩+創作

GWは草むしりをしてます。

――― 「草むしり」 ―――


鬱蒼と生い茂る名も知らぬ草花

気温が上がり雨を受け伸びた草花

庭の一角に腰を降ろし

鎌を片手に草を刈る

ただ草を刈る


日が落ちて辺りが朱に染まる頃

腰を伸ばし背を伸ばす

隣の家の垣根を越え伸びた草花

刈り取った後は土が見える

その楕円の場所だけ

よく目立った


籠を右手に鎌を左手に

穴の空いた庭から

家へと帰った






追記に短編。





――― 「かえる」 ―――



電話だけが残された部屋。
最後に電話をかける。


――今から帰るよ


電話線を抜き取り、電話もろとも鞄に詰め込む。
カーテンのない窓から風が入ってくる。
飲み終えた缶コーヒーを灰皿代わりに、煙草を吸う。
開け放たれた窓から見える風景。
もう、見ることはないだろうと思う。

根元まで吸い、少しだけ残っている缶の中に落とす。

火の消える音が聴こえ

鞄を手に

部屋を出た。


日差しの強い日中。
そういえば、この時間に外を歩いた覚えが少ない。
ふと思いついた事に、僅かに驚いた。

ずっと必死に、周りが見えなくなるほどに働いた。
自分の事すらわからなくなるほどに。
日常のあらゆる事が煩わしくなるほどに。

「暑いなぁ」

空を見上げる。
青い空、雲はゆっくりと動いている。




駅にたどり着くまでに見た景色は、今まで見てきたものと異なって見えた。
よく行ったラーメン屋、定食屋、ファーストフード、コンビニ、ファミレス。
よく遊んだパチンコ店、カラオケ、ゲームセンター。
よく買ったゲームショップ、服装店、靴屋、CDショップ。

通いなれた道も、通いつづけた店も。
その全てが色彩豊かに目に映る。


―――感傷的になってるのかな?


そう思うことで、納得する。
駅に入り切符を購入する。
相変わらずの人込みの中、新幹線の切符を買った。

少し、遅めの昼食を取る。
朝、よく食べた駅蕎麦を食べる。

何故か

懐かしさを感じ

何時もより

ゆっくりと食べた


ホームに降り、電車を待つ。
鞄を下に置き、携帯電話を取り出す。
別れの言葉と感謝の言葉。
メールに打ち込んで、すぐに消した。


「…やっぱり、電話だよな」


携帯の電話帳を見つめ。
ぼんやりと呟いた時、ホームに電車が停車した。




電車に揺られている。
手には携帯電話、足元には鞄。
目に映っているのは電話帳。

メールにするか電話にするか、どちらもしないという選択が思いつかず、
じっと携帯を見つめている。
次々と駅を通り過ぎ、降車するまでもう間もない。

この光景も、もう見ないのだと思うことも出来ずに、
じっと携帯を見つめていた。


新幹線のホームに行くまでの間の足取りは重い。
過去を振り向きすぎる自分が嫌にもなったが、
安定剤の所為か、あまり揺らぎの無い自分自身が妙に思える。

改札を通りエスカレータに乗る。
大勢の人がいる中で、自分だけが浮いている気がしていた。

新幹線の時間までは、まだある程度ある。
椅子に腰掛け、鞄を置く。
売店で缶コーヒーを買い、雑誌を買う。
雑誌は鞄に詰め込み、珈琲を飲み始める。


―――最初に買ったのも珈琲だっけ?


一口二口と飲みながら、ここに着たばかりの頃を思う。
それなりの希望と想い、ちょっとした望みと少しの下心。

「忘れたよ…そんなことは」

口に出してみれば、虚しく、馬鹿みたいなことだった。
携帯を取り出し、メールを打ち始める。
文章は思いつかないままだが、構わない。
ただ、今の気持ちと感謝を伝えたかった。



最後まで打ち、発信を押す。
幾人かからは返信がないと解っていても、送りたかった。

新幹線が到着する。
もう、最後なんだと強く感じる。
薄れていた感情が急に湧きあがる。

指定の席に座る。
ゆっくりと新幹線は動き出す。
頬杖を付き、去りゆく景色を眺める。


「………泣けたらいいのに」


速度と共に徐々に視界は狭まる。
過去を流していくような感覚の中にいる。


目を閉じ

腕を組み

足を組む

眠る振りをする自分

まだ人目を気にする自分

それを嫌悪しながらも

理解して欲しいと

そう

願った




新幹線は進んでいく
私の故郷へと
進んでいく









帰る、変える、還る
五月病なんて時期になってきましたが、
新たな生活に迷う事無く、
頑張りましょう^^

今日から、また更新を再開します。
私も頑張る。
だから、頑張れ!
なんて、言いませんよ私^^

また、夜にでも何か書くかもしれません。
それまでは、またも草むしりしてます。

では、また。

この記事のトラックバックURL

http://mknnny.blog10.fc2.com/tb.php/135-a20b6ce6

コメント

こんばんは~。
「かえる」のテーマはいいですね。
人は「かえる」場所がある、というのは幸せだと思うから。
草むしりして、我が家にかえるのも
都会から田舎へ帰るのも、
帰った家のなかで、くつろげるのだろうな、と思います。

短編の心理描写が細かくて、
主人公に同行いしている気分でした(^^)

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