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スキーが好きだった


スキーウェアを新調しての久しぶりのスキー。
楽しみと、久しぶりで滑れるかどうかか分らない怖さがある。
ゲレンデへと向かう途中、坂道で軽くスリップ。
それもまた、車の中の笑いを増やした。

朝早く出発したのにも関わらす、駐車場の手前でストップする。
混んでるなぁっと言うその言葉すら、話題の一つとして成立している。
4人で滑りに来るのは、もう、何回目か分らない。
最後に来たのは何時かと思い出そうとすると、大分昔だったのだろう。
なんとも記憶が曖昧だ。

そんなことを会話のタネにしながら、20分ほどの時間を費やし駐車場へと入る。
出きるだけ近いところにしろ!っと声がかかるが、あったらなっと返して終わり。
やはり、この時期の休日は混んでいると、当たり前のことを当たり前のように実感した。

面倒なので全員レンタル。
という半ば何時もの展開でスキー一式を借りる。
チケットを買い、スキーの準備を整えたら、さぁ、出発の前にまずは一服。
気持ちのいい寒さを顔だけに感じながら、吐き出した煙は白い山に溶け込んでいった。

「おし、最初はグー」

――ジャン・ケン・ポン!

山頂にて、いきなりの声がする。
勿論、私達だ。
下まで誰が一番早くたどり着けるかのレース。
まず、最初はコレから始まるといっても過言ではない。

じゃんけんの理由なんて、あってないようなものだが。
気合を入れるのと、その場のノリだろうか?
並び順に大した違いはないのに、何故か、どうしてか、ジャンケンをする。

「じゃー、ビリは、そうだなぁ……何時もように、いっぱい奢りで!」

適当な掛け声とともに、一斉に斜面を滑り出す。
多くの人がいる中で、自分達だけ特別のような錯覚をしている。
笑い合い、時々お互いの邪魔をしあい、大きな声で呼び合いながら。


ずっと続くような時間の中を私達は過ごしていた。






スキーが好きだった
ゲレンデを滑り降り
何かから解放されるような感じが好きだった
もしかしたらそれはブランコで遊ぶ時の気分に似ているかもしれない

スキーが好きだった
誰かとレースをするように滑り
並んだ相手を時々押す
笑い声と転ぶ楽しさ
雪に埋もれる事すら喜びで溢れていた

スキーが好きだった
起伏のある斜面を滑れもしないのに滑り転ぶ
痛みよりも笑いが込み上げ
それが楽しかった

スキーが好きだった
時間がありお金の余裕もあった
あるっというものを失った時
それはただ眺めるだけのものでしかなくなった

スキーが好きだった
そうっだったかもしれないと彼は言う
彼はもうその頃の思い出は思い出せない
お前好きだったよスキー
そう言っても困ったように曖昧な笑みを浮かべている


あぁ、それでな……俺も、スキーが好きだったよ


この記事のトラックバックURL

http://mknnny.blog10.fc2.com/tb.php/353-2e5ed6a5

コメント

思い出とは。
懐かしむだけではなく、
思い出を元により楽しく生きるために記憶に残っているもの。
などとふと考えた。
でも・・・
なかなかにそうは問屋さんが卸してはくれないのが現実。
問屋さんの値上げ幅は、我々が年輪をかさむ分だけ大きくなり、
値切りはなかなか受け付けない。
どう説得するのか。
それが問題だ。
自分の時間、カネ、そしてなによりも、思い出を作るべき相手の時間。。。
これらをクリアするために必要な労力は、暇を持てあまらせていた過去に立てる予定よりはるかにシビアな調整が必要となる。
年輪を重ね失われたパワーで、どこまでカバーできるのか?
でもきっと、それらをあわせて足りないくらいの楽しみが待っているのかもしれない。
そしてきっと、昔感じた喜びとまあ別の喜びがあり、
昔感じた喜びと別の物寂しさがあり、
新しい思い出が、またほろ苦く、
懐かしい思い出がより引き立って、
それでもまた、思い出を上書きしたくなる衝動を
与えてくれる友人と
楽しめるといいよな。。。

ん~・・・。
どうも今年は厄年みたいだ。
年が明けてからろくな事が無い。
車のパワステは利かなくなるし、
クソ見たいな除雪のせいで、エンジンのアンダーカバーが砕け散るし、
某オークションではノークレーム現状渡しで出品してるのにクレームと同時に突然悪い評価をつけられるし、
某機関主催の会議に出席しようとしたら突然門前払いを食ってみたり、
その他もろもろと。
現状での気力が一気に抜け落ちていく感じが。
こうもモチベ-ションが、上がらないのは、なぜなんだろ?
とある資格のための勉強にも身が入らず、
資格の受験料が無駄だったかな?
この勢いだと普通にだめコースか。
他人にはポジティブに、自分はネガティブ。
これぞ反面教師。
元気付けるのは、自分の心境と逆に行けば行ける。
その分自分にかけられた言葉がマイナスに聞こえるマイナス症候群。
我ながら、気難しいものだな。。。
車好きな趣味から、大きく離れて、
ほかに何かパワーを入れようかと考える今日この頃。
さて、今日は寝ましょう。
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